Disabling Feelings

-Sometimes I don’t know how I feel

-Sometimes I don’t know what I feel

-These times, they make no sense at all

-For surely, feeling, must have a reason

-It isn’t reason I’m out of touch with

-These feelings I have never felt

-These feelings I just can’t explain

-I’ve felt a lot of things before

-Things that I could most certainly explain

-But what I have not ever felt

-Is feeling that disabled me

-With the inability to put into words

-The inability to express on paper

-The inability to write from my soul

-But knowing not what I am feeling

-Is really feeling something new

-Something foreign to my heart

-Something new to my emotional senses

-I thought I had felt everything

-Always able to express with words

-But now, with this, newfound misfortune

-It is a venture into the unknown

-A life I love, A life at stake

-So, what I’m feeling, sometimes it feels

-I don’t know what I’m feeling at all

~ L.G.

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14 comments on “Disabling Feelings

  1. Oh, Laura, you are so young to go through this tragedy. I pray for your husband, for strength and a fighting spirit. Several studies have shown that persons going through cancer treatment who have a positive attitude and spirit of gratitude have a higher cure rate. I so far have been negative for recurrance. I am so grateful to live in an age where I could be treated and cured. He is fortunate to have someone who loves him as much as your blog shows.

    • thank you for your thoughts . I really do love him. I try to keep a positive attitude. it gets harder each day. I hate watching how the chemo makes him sicker each
      time

  2. My older brother just died this month after a 4 year fight with Multiple Myeloma. He was diagnosed late stage and MD’s said he had 6 months or less. He lived for over 4 years. His greatest strengths was his sense of humor, his faith in God and his wife Pearls love for him. You are your Husbands strength when he is feeling weak and you will help keep him strong. Keep pouring out your angst and pain here where we can help you when you feel down. YOU are an inspiration and I admire your wit and courage!

  3. My husband was diagnosed with Colon Cancer a year ago. They removed most of his colon and has been healed. This was a very emotional time. My heart goes out to you and will keep you and your family in my prayers. Your words are very well said and help others also. God Bless!

  4. First, thank you for following my blog. I do appreciate it! Second, I am so very sorry for what you are coping with right now. You have a difficult task ahead of you. Writing about and sharing your thoughts and feelings is quite therapeutic. Keep on writing. I’ll try to do the same.

  5. Laura, I’m not sure you have disabled your feelings, Shock is God’s way of protecting us from an overload of pain!God protects us i ways that seem odd, But having been on the battlefield, and you are in the midst of one now, emotional detachment, and even physical detachment from pain can be life saving. For one used to loving and feeling it seems wrong, but having run on overload many times personally I can tell you having an “auto-pilot” mode was likely God carrying me through places in the valley of the shadow of death angels feared to tread! Hang in there! It isn’t you don’t care – sometimes we are pushed beyond our limits!

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