Getting Harder

-Sicker, Sicker

-Every day

-Hurting, Suffering

-More and More

-Watching, Hearing

-Sickness, Sickness

-For he is, he is getting sicker

-Getting sicker

-Growing Weaker

-His pain’s increasing

-I can’t stand seeing

-I am a witness

-Seeing with my eyes, My heart

-A diseases so evil, cruel, aggressive

-Bringing my love to his knees

-Taking over my family

-Taking life, it flipped and flopped it

-Stop it, Stop it

-Cancer, Cancer

-Don’t ask why

-I try not to

-But, I am human

-I’m not perfect

-So, here and now

-I’m asking God

-I’m asking here in front of all

-God, I’m good and so is he

-Our girls are young, just one and six

-Forgive me please for asking this

-But, oh I’m human

-So here’s my question

WHY???

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29 comments on “Getting Harder

  1. Laura: Thanks for stopping by and following my blog.

    As the wife of a leukemia survivor, myself then diagnosed w/Stage 4 sarcoma in 2010, I’ve now been on both sides of the caregiver/patient fence for a long time. I can tell you that you have the harder job. It’s so hard to be the strong one, emotionally and physically, for everyone in the family.

    Find friends to hold you up, read your Bible, and keep looking up! God knows your hurts better than anyone and He can be your comfort.

    “I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” —Psalm 121:1–2

    Hang in there! I’m praying for you this morning.

  2. Sending lots of prayers. Your words brought tears to my eyes. May God bless you and your family and help you all get through this very difficult time.Most Sincerely, Tracy

    • Thank you Tracy,
      I am so blessed to have found this place to make my blog. It has created a prayer chain for my family that is much needed and I am very thankful to God for leading me here to all of you who are the kind of good and caring people I thought didn’t even exist anymore. God bless you and all of my wonderful blogging community who is experiencing this journey with me!

  3. Your writing is so honest and real. I admire your sharing it and hope it is helpful to you and I know it will be helpful to others. I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you move through this difficult time. I try not to hate, but I really hate cancer.

    • It really makes me feel honored when someone comments on my words, as they truly do come straight from my heart. Thank you and God bless you!

  4. I send you love, prayers, hope. Don’t stay strong. Fall down, cry, suck in air and sob. You will find new strength, you will. So much pain in your words. I have been where you are. it is hard,it is tough. You will find a way to do this. You will.

  5. Hi Laura
    My heart goes out to you and there are tears in my eyes. I have been through what you are going through and it hurts. I can only send you strength and love for what lies ahead. Look after yourself…

  6. I know when I was fighting cancer over the last two years, it was a great comfort to know that my wife was eating well, and taking care of herself. I can’t speak for another, but as I worried about the disease, I was really more worried for my wife and kids.

    I don’t know about why, but I do know that you can tell your pain and hurt to God, he can take it.

    Wishing you the best – bw

  7. My words are pointless – worthless – in the face of your trials. All that is left is to hope, and to pray. It isn’t over until it is. Small comfort. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  8. Laura a few resources I recommend
    http://alternativecancer.us/
    Cancer: Step Outside the Box [Paperback] Author: Ty M. Bollinger
    ISBN: 0-9788065-0-6 available on Amazon and a few other web sites get the 5th edition if possible. I wish I had this when my brother was first diagnosed.
    I am praying for you, there are no answers really, but keep looking for more information and knowledge. Reframe the negative and keep up your faith. It is ok to be angry and hurt it is normal to feel these things. You are a courageous wife and mother.

  9. Laura, so many times, there just is no “why,” this side of heaven, just the “how,” of one day at a time. You and your family have often been in my prayers. I’ve learned over all my years our “goodness” has nothing to do with the “badness,” that happens to us in our lives. I just hope you have a shoulder to cry on nearby, and wish I could offer mine, but the internet can’t make that possible. Please consider Hospice, having been on both the giving and receiving end of it, I can honestly say it is a blessing. It is not giving up. But that is a decision only you and your husband can make:God, grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change,
    The courage to change the things you can, And wisdom to know the difference.

  10. Prayers are with you and your family. Being strong for him I know is not easy, it is always harder to watch the people you love suffer then to be the one who is. Just now that your strenght is his strength and that you do not stand alone.

  11. Bless your heart, it is one thing to battle this monster called “C”, it is whole other “fight” when you watch it’s grasp on someone you love take its toll. You write beautifully…your love pours out your words. Praying for the both of you and sending a gentle hug your way…

  12. Oh, Laura. Sending you and your man blogful hugs. Sometimes that’s all you can do is hug & hope & cry. I hope you keep writing it down, getting it out. Take Care, Patti

  13. I don’t have the right words right now, but do be strong and stay hoping. There isno option other than hope if we choose life above all. My thoughts and prayers to you in this struggle. Cancer has taken away the most special woman of my life, my mother and I asked a lot of questions. I wrote a philosophical piece about it in my blog, entitled, “The God of Death” but I’m sure it won’t be comforting. Suffice it to say that I do join you from afar, praying and hoping that something, someone and somehow will ease the pain.

  14. Sometimes in this fight, we do have to get sicker before we get better. As Jason Mraz sings, “we all need the darkness, to see the light.” The time he spends ill now, is simply adding to the time you have together later. Remember that and stay strong!

  15. It is hard to “like” something knowing that it is born of suffering but the poem and sentiment are beautiful, honest, and (unfortunately) familiar.
    I’m thinking of you all today and sending love out towards you as well. Thank you for sharing this. Cancer has made us family.

    • I really don’t view the “like” button as liking what is happening. I view it as an appreciation and respect for another’s ability to express themselves in a beautiful way, through true passion, feeling and emotion. Thank you for liking my post, it means a lot to me knowing others care and can relate to me. God Bless You!

      • Perfect way to express that. Having something “liked” is almost like getting a hug from the reader. When we go through painful experiences love is the only thing I’ve experienced that helps. Keep writing, stay courageous, and know that what you share has value to many of us. God bless you right back Lady 😉

  16. Lord, please be with Laura and her family. You know the answers to her questions and you know her great pain. Please comfort her like only You can. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

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