I am having a hard time accepting my husbands condition is incurable. Sometimes I don’t know how to express this feeling. Going from one extreme to another. He seemed fine and suddenly he had terminal cancer and does not seem fine at all. I am scared. I just want to find a way to fix it. This is an experience I have not found a way to express because it is soooo deep, painful, unexplainable. I’m trying to come to terms with it myself.


4 comments on “Coping

  1. Please don’t think I mean this in anyway to belittle the horrific experience you are going through, only to make an admittedly poor attempt to reassure you that you are not going insane. What you are experiencing is normal for someone in your situation. If you are the sort of person who finds understanding whats going on from an academic/psychological point helpful (I do, but I appreciate that not everyone does) its call anticipatory grief, there’s lots on the web about it. I would also recommend what gospelofbarney suggested, get in touch with your local Hospice they will be able to support you and your family through this.

  2. Laura, I have spent the vast majority of my 57 years of life, being “Mr. Fix It,” cars, plumbing, electrical, mechanical, I found there was little or nothing I could not build, rebuild or fix, this was my hobby and relaxation, and comfort as being a Pastor, I have dealt with terminal illnesses, addictions; things I usually could not fix. When I had my stroke, I was broken and could not be fixed – There is no going back to how I was! All I have is slowing the inevitable decline that comes with age, and was vastly accelerated by my stroke. Right now it is not about getting better, but slowing decline. Again all I can ask is that you contact Hospice – they can help you and your family cope, provide in home care and equipment. God look out over all of you in your need

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