BEYOND WRITER’S BLOCK
I have been stuck inside the world of writers block.
Writing is how I express myself
Even if others don’t “get me”
It helps me
It frees me
It let’s me be me
Writing is like therapy for me
It Always has been
It is so personal that the slightest interference can give me writer’s block.
Writer’s block that can last for a long time.
Let me start with a story about writers block. When I was in middle school and high school I went through bullying. That, in turn led me to do other things I shouldn’t have because I was so traumatized by how mean kids can be. Kids need guidance and don’t always respond to bullying the correct way. It can push teens into a downward spiral if not dealt with appropriately. So, I was going through what I thought were the hardest years of my life. (Now, I find real life gets harder with a husband who is terminally ill with cancer). Back to my point. I wrote so much poetry. I mean notebooks full of it. I had a duffel bag full of notebooks of poetry and they meant so much to me. What I write is personal and is sacred and special to me because it comes from my true inner feelings. My mind on paper. My heart on paper. Well, I ran off to the beach during my troubled years for a few months and when I came home a lot of things in the house had been thrown out. It doesn’t really matter by whom. The fact is that in my closet where my stuff was, someone cleaned it out. They could have put it aside. But, my whole bag full of notebooks and poetry were gone. Thrown away. I felt like a part of me had been lost. I went years without writing after that. I didn’t write anything. My writing is important to me and that is what matters. Nobody has to get it. Just don’t misinterpret my work if you don’t get it. I have not been writing because I became lost in fear others wouldn’t understand my own personal way of expressing myself. I felt like me when I could write and writing doesn’t make me a bad person. It just makes me who I AM. I have had writer’s block for so long and I hope I can come out of it. I need something to help me cope with the hard ordeal in life I am facing. Blogging was working. I want to keep my blog going. I just want respect. This is how I can open up and be myself and express my feelings. I myself get support from bloggers going through the same things. Bloggers that also write and understand me. Writing is therapy….for me. WRITERS BLOCK. I have been dealing with life and I hope this block will go away soon. I have been praying. I want my smile on my face again. I miss smiling and laughing. I want to get out of this sadness and hurt and smile and laugh to make my whole family happy. I want to write and be me. If I can’t be me I can’t be free to be happy and smile. God Bless All!