I am not sure why I have become so scared of judgment based on my own writing.  I can’t keep that up and I won’t.  Writing helps me get through hard times in life.  I know uplifting things that are written are so much better than negative things.  But, my life is full of emotion right now.  Sometimes I feel things that are positive, hopeful, and uplifting and other times I just feel like falling apart.  But, “I AM HUMAN”…  Yes, I am.  I am allowed to feel hopeful and I am also aloud to feel scared and hurt.  So, I’m not trying to please anyone.  This isn’t a contest, competition, or any such.  This is my place to write when I feel down, depressed, fearful, happy, hopeful, cheerful, or whatever.  I have the right to deal with my husband’s cancer with good days and bad days just as I am sure anyone dealing with this does.  Coping with this serious of an illness is NOT EASY and I am still hopeful and still praying for a miracle.  But, honestly, some days it is really hard to face and that is OKAY.  IT IS OKAY.  “I AM HUMAN”.  If this helps me, I don’t care what others think of my feelings because I AM ALOUD TO GET THROUGH THIS MY WAY, which isn’t so unordinary.  A roller coaster of emotions is to be expected when facing cancer with your husband and young children.  My husband has cancer and I am coping and dealing with it healthily. Some days are good and some days are bad.  But it is a journey that can only be taken ONE DAY AT A TIME. AND I AM STILL PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE EVERY SECOND OF THIS DIFFICULT JOURNEY.  


  1. Emotional roller coaster describes it perfectly. I have just walked alongside my husband with cancer for eight months and felt that my blog was just doom and gloom at times, but as you say it doesn’t matter because I wrote my blog for ME. As an outlet for my feelings and as a record to remind me. It needed to be honest and uncontrived.

    I don’t think of myself as a writer, rather as a person who scribbles down the feelings and thoughts in my head. Therefore the quality and content, grammar spelling or whatever don’t matter. Therefore judgements don’t come into it…. or shouldn’t, But then as you say we are all human and we all have vanities..

    I got writers block as well. a while ago. Looking back I was in the depression phase of the grief that comes with this sort of situation. All that went through my head was cancercancercancercancer, and I was sort of paralysed with fear.

    Sending good karma to you.

    Denise…love from England

  2. As a cancer patient and trauma survivor, the feelings and fears you write here deeply resonate with me. But you know what……so what. It doesn’t matter what I think, this is your blog and your space for self expression and that is really all that matters. Keep on going!

  3. Years ago I read that writers were the most insecure people, on average, which is why they entered into the profession that gave the most negative feedback of any. I don’t keep rejections, I just write because I am a writer. Maybe someday I will be published but regardless of my status as regarding being published it does not change my status as a writer. I don’t write for approval I write because I must. Outside approval does not matter, well it does a bit not to lie, but it is the inner approval that counts. Does your writing please you in some way? Did you say what you wanted to say? That is all that really matters.

      • Always glad to help. I get frustrated and down, especially after a rejection, on occasion. I do not know if you are religious, but my faith has helped me a lot. I plan on entering a Benedictine chapter of Canons. The trick to a happy life can be found, and if you do find it please let me know. Just a bad joke there, just write and things will happen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s