My Prayer Today

Sometimes I feel down

So close to the ground

I could be falling down a hole

Oh God, I call on you

For these moments of sadness

Oh God, I call on you to carry me through

Pull me back up, like you never fail to do

Give me Strength that only you can

Strength by your Grace

To carry me through

Pulling me up now, I feel you my Lord

You never forsake me

God, you never let me go

Thank you for carrying me when I am my weakest

Thank you for keeping me from giving up

That is not an option

Oh God, I do love him

I pray for a miracle.

I pray for him to be healed by your hand.

I love him.   I love him.

But, I do know this, Lord

He belongs to you.  He is yours God.

He is yours, He’s not mine.

I want him, oh, I want him

But God, he has been yours from his creation

Created by you.

Since his birth he has belonged to the Good Lord Above

Just like me and all others, your children we are.

And God, your Will shall be done.

Each life, Each soul, belongs to the Almighty God

In the Heavens Above.

God I want him to stay here, if you could just change your mind….

But, that is not my place, I can only tell you we would be blessed

If you would heal him

Blessed, we would be if your will was to save him

Leave him on this earth

I pray for a Miracle, God, that only you can give

Give us what we need and I honor your will to be done.

So, By the Grace of god Strengthen me for whatever comes.

I want my sweet husband here oh Lord.

But, if you need him…….

I still hope and pray for a Miracle Father.

Strengthen my family, like only you can.

by the Grace of God, Strengthen us oh Lord,

With the Grace that you give.

Amen.

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MY THOUGHTS ON THE STATUS OF MY BLOG

I am not sure why I have become so scared of judgment based on my own writing.  I can’t keep that up and I won’t.  Writing helps me get through hard times in life.  I know uplifting things that are written are so much better than negative things.  But, my life is full of emotion right now.  Sometimes I feel things that are positive, hopeful, and uplifting and other times I just feel like falling apart.  But, “I AM HUMAN”…  Yes, I am.  I am allowed to feel hopeful and I am also aloud to feel scared and hurt.  So, I’m not trying to please anyone.  This isn’t a contest, competition, or any such.  This is my place to write when I feel down, depressed, fearful, happy, hopeful, cheerful, or whatever.  I have the right to deal with my husband’s cancer with good days and bad days just as I am sure anyone dealing with this does.  Coping with this serious of an illness is NOT EASY and I am still hopeful and still praying for a miracle.  But, honestly, some days it is really hard to face and that is OKAY.  IT IS OKAY.  “I AM HUMAN”.  If this helps me, I don’t care what others think of my feelings because I AM ALOUD TO GET THROUGH THIS MY WAY, which isn’t so unordinary.  A roller coaster of emotions is to be expected when facing cancer with your husband and young children.  My husband has cancer and I am coping and dealing with it healthily. Some days are good and some days are bad.  But it is a journey that can only be taken ONE DAY AT A TIME. AND I AM STILL PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE EVERY SECOND OF THIS DIFFICULT JOURNEY.