I am not sure why I have become so scared of judgment based on my own writing. I can’t keep that up and I won’t. Writing helps me get through hard times in life. I know uplifting things that are written are so much better than negative things. But, my life is full of emotion right now. Sometimes I feel things that are positive, hopeful, and uplifting and other times I just feel like falling apart. But, “I AM HUMAN”… Yes, I am. I am allowed to feel hopeful and I am also aloud to feel scared and hurt. So, I’m not trying to please anyone. This isn’t a contest, competition, or any such. This is my place to write when I feel down, depressed, fearful, happy, hopeful, cheerful, or whatever. I have the right to deal with my husband’s cancer with good days and bad days just as I am sure anyone dealing with this does. Coping with this serious of an illness is NOT EASY and I am still hopeful and still praying for a miracle. But, honestly, some days it is really hard to face and that is OKAY. IT IS OKAY. “I AM HUMAN”. If this helps me, I don’t care what others think of my feelings because I AM ALOUD TO GET THROUGH THIS MY WAY, which isn’t so unordinary. A roller coaster of emotions is to be expected when facing cancer with your husband and young children. My husband has cancer and I am coping and dealing with it healthily. Some days are good and some days are bad. But it is a journey that can only be taken ONE DAY AT A TIME. AND I AM STILL PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE EVERY SECOND OF THIS DIFFICULT JOURNEY.
