Unfortunately, my husband passed away In March of 2014. This blog is dedicated to him and tells how wonderful of a man he was.
This is on my blog. It says better than any other words what he meant to me and who he was as a person.
FOR MY HUSBAND
– I see you as a blessing – You are my guide – My manual to life
– My definitions of all meanings lie within you
– You Define:
– Value – Honesty – Strength – Dedication – Trust – Integrity
– and all things Good
– Your soul is like a glossery defining the right way to be
– I pray that I have given to you in return:
– A guide to love – Faith – Forgiveness
– And Grace
He taught me some of the most valuable life lessons that have made me who I am. Today, I am still grieving. It is an up and down battle. He was in so much pain. I never knew that it was possible for a person to endure such pain. The most amazing thing to me was his Faith. I saw him day after day hunched over on the floor crying in pain praying to God and asking Jesus to please take the pain away. Even though the pain continued, he refused to give up faith. My husband demonstrated the most amazing example of unwaivering Faith I have ever witnessed. I bathed him, I watched him cry, I slept in the hospital bed with him, chased nurses around while he laid on the hospital floor screaming in pain for his meds. This blog tells how wonderful of a man he was. He instilled a set of values in me that I don’t see in many people today. He talked to me about life and how people should be. He showed me that a relationship can be great. He taught me communication between a man and a woman without fighting.
I need to say one thing to everyone who gets any notification when I post on this blog. I heard that people lose faith when they lose a loved one. I have heard people feel like giving up because they have lost their faith. This is what you need to know.
WE ARE HUMAN AND GOD KNOWS THAT WE ARE HUMAN. WHEN WE LOSE A LOVED ONE IT IS NATURAL TO BECOME DULL AND NUMB. WE MIGHT FEEL WE HAVE LOST FAITH BUT WE HAVE NOT. IT IS A NATURAL HUMAN EMOTION. WHAT I DID WHEN I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE TALKING TO GOD, PRAYING, OPENING A BIBLE, ETC. IS THIS:
I TOLD GOD, “I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW THIS IS A HUMAN EMOTION AND YOU KNOW WE ARE HUMAN. I AM NOT LOSING FAITH, BUT BECOMING NUMB AND DISCONNECTED. I TRUST YOU AND AM ASKING YOU TO HOLD ON TO ME GOD. I AM LETTING GO RIGHT NOW AND YOU KNOW IT’S HUMAN EMOTION AND PART OF GRIEVING. GOD PLEASE DO NOT LET GO OF ME AND HOLD ON TO ME. I KNEW HE HEARD ME AND I TRUSTED HE WAS DOING JUST AS I ASKED. THIS IS MY MESSAGE TO ALL THOSE GRIEVING AND FEELING GUILT LIKE YOU HAVE LOST FAITH. IF YOU REALLY LOST FAITH, YOU WOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. YOU AREN’T LOSING FAITH. YOU ARE NUMB AND EXPERIENCING HUMAN EMOTION AND PART OF A GRIEVING PROCESS. GOD KNOWS THAT. ASK HIM NOT TO LET GO OF YOU AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. YOU WILL HAVE A KIND OF FAITH YOU NEVER KNEW POSSIBLE AND AN EVEN CLOSER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
LOVE TO ALL AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!