Prayer Request

My husband is in the hospital again.  He is getting very week  and has a lot of pain. He has also had shortness of breath. Please pray for us. Thank you for all your support and prayers.

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MY THOUGHTS ON THE STATUS OF MY BLOG

I am not sure why I have become so scared of judgment based on my own writing.  I can’t keep that up and I won’t.  Writing helps me get through hard times in life.  I know uplifting things that are written are so much better than negative things.  But, my life is full of emotion right now.  Sometimes I feel things that are positive, hopeful, and uplifting and other times I just feel like falling apart.  But, “I AM HUMAN”…  Yes, I am.  I am allowed to feel hopeful and I am also aloud to feel scared and hurt.  So, I’m not trying to please anyone.  This isn’t a contest, competition, or any such.  This is my place to write when I feel down, depressed, fearful, happy, hopeful, cheerful, or whatever.  I have the right to deal with my husband’s cancer with good days and bad days just as I am sure anyone dealing with this does.  Coping with this serious of an illness is NOT EASY and I am still hopeful and still praying for a miracle.  But, honestly, some days it is really hard to face and that is OKAY.  IT IS OKAY.  “I AM HUMAN”.  If this helps me, I don’t care what others think of my feelings because I AM ALOUD TO GET THROUGH THIS MY WAY, which isn’t so unordinary.  A roller coaster of emotions is to be expected when facing cancer with your husband and young children.  My husband has cancer and I am coping and dealing with it healthily. Some days are good and some days are bad.  But it is a journey that can only be taken ONE DAY AT A TIME. AND I AM STILL PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE EVERY SECOND OF THIS DIFFICULT JOURNEY.  

Vows Stay True

-I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU

-THE DAY WE WED, A DAY SO SWEET

-I TOLD YOU THEN, I TELL YOU NOW

-BUT NOW AND THEN HAVE TURNED FROM DAY TO NIGHT

-I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU

-ONCE UPON A TIME I KNEW I REALLY WOULD

-WELL, NOW MY DEAR

-SAD AS IT SEEMS

-THE FAIRYTALE OF A LIFETIME OF LOVE HAS FADED

-YOU MY DEAR, I ASSURE YOU THIS

-YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR SWEET LIFE WITH ME

-IF ONLY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WAS FARTHER THAN EITHER OF US COULD SEE

-THEN, I TOO WOULD BE BLESSED WITH THE PLEASURE

-TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU

-EITHER WAY OUR VOWS STAY TRUE

-THROUGH SICKNESS AND HEALTH

-TILL DEATH DO US PART

Part 2
I lost hope and faith assuming the worst
I pray and put my faith in Christ
For health, healing and miracles
By Laura G

They are planning to try this on my husband

Friday, 26 April 2013
ST. LOUIS – Interventional radiologists at Saint Louis University Hospital have a new alternative for liver cancer patients with Yttrium-90 (Y90) radioembolization, infusion of radiation impregnated beads therapy directly targeting cancer cells without an external beam.

In the procedure, radiologists infuse a high dose of tiny microscopic beads called radioisotope Yttrium-90 into the liver tumor through a catheter in the groin. The beads are trapped inside the tumor bed and directly destroy and kill cancer cells.

“We are able to go right into the tumor bed with no collateral damage to healthy tissue,” says Rotimi Johnson, MD, interventional radiologist at Saint Louis University Hospital and a SLUCare physician. “The particles target only the tumor.”

The beads decay inside the tumor over a period of two weeks.

Traditional radiation therapy is most commonly delivered by external beam radiation. Patients lie down as machines target the cancerous tumor. However, as the radiation is delivered from outside, it comes into contact with healthy tissue in the body.

“It’s a significant difference from radiating from the skin surface,” says Dr. Johnson. “This is all internal.”

While the concept to deliver internal radiation through brachytherapy is not new, Y90 radioembolization is relatively new to the medical landscape. The outpatient procedure is for a growing population of patients with advanced stage liver cancer.

“This is for patients with metastatic or primary liver tumors,” says Dr. Johnson. “It’s been well tolerated by our patients and they’ve been doing really well.”

###

About Saint Louis University Hospital

Saint Louis University Hospital is a 356-licensed bed quaternary/tertiary referral center located in the heart of the city of St. Louis. Approximately 75 percent of patients are drawn from a 150-mile radius. Through affiliation as the teaching hospital for Saint Louis University, the hospital provides patients and their families with an environment of medical innovation. Working in this endeavor are the hospital’s medical staff partners, SLUCare, the physicians of Saint Louis University. The hospital admits more than 17,000 patients annually, performs more than 200 organ transplants a year and is a Level I Trauma Center that treats more than 2,000 major trauma cases a year. For more information, please visit http://www.sluhospital.com.

Contact:

http://www.sluhospital.com/en-US/aboutUs/hospitalNews/PressReleases/Pages/Radioembolization.aspx

Coping

I am having a hard time accepting my husbands condition is incurable. Sometimes I don’t know how to express this feeling. Going from one extreme to another. He seemed fine and suddenly he had terminal cancer and does not seem fine at all. I am scared. I just want to find a way to fix it. This is an experience I have not found a way to express because it is soooo deep, painful, unexplainable. I’m trying to come to terms with it myself.

Cancer is a part of my life

I have not been writing lately.  Writer’s block, not wanting to feel emotions to the point of actually writing about them, whatever the case, today I feel like writing.  So, many people in the cancer community on wordpress face the same trials as I do.  Something, so many people are out of touch with and don’t comprehend the havoc and despair it causes for the victims and their loved ones.  It is nice to know that there is a place where people relate to what we are all experiencing.  Ultimately, it would be ideal if cancer did not exist and we did not need places to find where others understand.  I wish no one had to experience such terrible life occurrences.  I never thought it would hit this close to home.  My grandparents both died from cancer.  However, they were in their seventies.  I was only thirteen and did not grasp the concept.  My aunt died of cancer as well leaving a ten year old son and a fifteen year old daughter behind.  Shortly after that their father lost his life to Leukemia.  Still, at only thirteen it did not hit home as it has now.  They lived several states away and my relationship was not extremely close with them.  Now, I thought that was it.  How could cancer possibly strike my life again.  How? Again? And so close to my heart.  It is my husband and I still just don’t know why cancer has to be so aggressive, undiscriminating, taking victims who have done nothing to deserve it.  Well, now we have found out the not so good news.  My husband went to another cancer center for a second opinion.  He was told that they would do nothing more than what the current treatment center is doing.  Basically, they do not want to operate and are emphasizing “quality of life”.  Also, sadly he was told that he will be on chemotherapy for the rest of his life.  Does he deserve this? no.  Is he a bad person? no Did he do anything to put himself at risk for getting cancer? no.  Does he have a great life worth living for? yes.  So, my heart goes out to every single person that is reading this and experiencing a life involving someone with cancer.  We share something that others just don’t understand or grasp the full concept of the effect it has on those living with it in their lives.  I pray for all of you and let us all pray for each other and hope for the best.  Trust in God.  We don’t have the answers to everything and he does have a bigger plan.  I am praying for all cancer victims and their families.  I hope we can all create a prayer chain for this entire community of cancer victims and their families.  Pray. Pray. Pray. God bless you all and my heart goes out to all of you.